Alien

We walk the night
day
morning
the desperate hours before the dawn,
cruising dark corridors of obsession
seeking forbidden escape,
brothels, baths, beaches
bushes, toilets, streets
numb before computer screens
in chat rooms where no one speaks,
tempted by temptation itself
seduced by seduction itself
addicted to anything that deadens,
dulls, drowns, displaces
what we feel.

I meet you but do not,
encounter you but do not engage,
see
feel
touch you but do not experience,
give orders but do not converse,
follow instructions but do not participate,
say nothing,
open my mouth
but dare not my lips.

Revel
thrill
hunt
cross the threshold and step outside time,
lift the veil of acceptability
penetrate the flesh
the mystery
that which can be attained but never possessed.

The rush that is the risk,
the high that is the humiliation,
bodies abused by objectification
where they long for care,
intimacy turned inside out,
communion traded for collusion with lust.

Lust that killed love
and me
we
I who killed lust.
Where do we go from here?
Alien at birth,
alien in life,
what earth do we walk,
what planet bestride?
What language do we speak to be heard
and in which tongue?

How do I look to you now,
how get our eyes to meet
and what do they see,
do they mirror our souls
or vanish in a void of projection?

Let me introduce myself:
I am the shadow of your truth,
the flesh of your fantasy,
I am neediness turned loose.

Embrace me,
I am your secret self.