Genesis

I would want you
to say I can’t live without you,
can I come back?

And I would say yes,
come.

I would want us to do this
but know you can’t
and that we won’t.

I can still dream
and pretend you feel the passion you don’t
though it’s nothing worth wanting without you feeling it yourself
without you thinking
yes
here is everything I want.

But it isn’t
is it?

I would want you to say
I’ve never shared so much with any one person
but though that’s true for me
it’s not for you.

Is it for me?

Would that I could say the time we shared was enough
and though it was
it wasn’t
and I can’t.

I am so tired of longing for you
with whom I touch and glimpse
penetrate
commune

yearning for us
you
who fears my fervour
and I
who fear your judgment

longing with all my intensity and hunger
knowing you were afraid and had already hurt me
because you were
and that I didn’t trust you
because you had.

In the beginning there was light
and the light was paradise
and it was good

and paradise was love

unencumbered
elixir of life
the freedom to be vulnerable
trust
risk
change.

And into the light came fear
butcherous brother of man’s obese brain
and its capacity to premeditate murder
dissemble
live the living death
that is the fear of life
avoid change
risk nothing
trust no one

and paradise was lost.

Your eyes look up into mine.
Can I give myself to you?
they ask.

Yes
if you believe in love
mine say
yes.