Anniversary Day

I once loved a man who couldn’t love
he said it was me and I believed him.

I loved the man he was with all my heart
but all he loved were shadows
the ones I cast
the ones he projected
the perfect union he imagined.

I once loved a man who couldn’t feel my love
for all he loved were shadows
and shadows vanish in the light.

And still
and yet
he made me feel
and put his arms
and promised everything would be alright
and I believed him.

I didn’t know him
any better than he knew me
and everywhere we went
the world would disappear behind us.

I was afraid to let go so held on to what I knew

painful
though it was
comfortable

being with someone
who wanted me to be someone else

familiar

obliging
thinking this was love
I played the role
and lied
where reality didn’t fit.

Familiarity may breed contempt
but contempt is solace when it’s all you know,
I have only ever played this role
dancing for my supper
and singing for your kiss.

He was an entertainer too.

We each loved a man who couldn’t love
or feel the love the other felt,
each told the other it was him
and each believed what he was told,

tragic

the human comedy of love requited
but unattainable nonetheless.

Today could have been ours
in celebration
in love
in stead it’s just another day

any old day
any old love receding from the heart
any old opportunity lost
except that this one was for life.

The wound cuts deep
it bleeds
I keep wanting it to heal
but it keeps crying out

the absence
gaping hole our absence leaves
the aching
gutted heart

don’t leave
it cries
don’t take our love apart.

Shadows danced
need sang
feed me
sate me
fill me up

the love we shared was real when it was right
it was
the chance of a lifetime
and we both took it.

Opportunity knocked
we answered
right time
right place
wrong intention

it turned and left.

We each loved a man who couldn’t love
each of us on empty
seeking to give the other worth
dancing on broken legs
taking on the other’s pain

we sang
we kissed
promised each other forever
the world
heaven on earth.

Our love was real
it was the promises that were in vain.